What I Want

Sometimes when I see her,


this sad girl in my photographs,


I want to reach out to her -


tell her she's beautiful,


tell her she's loved.


But then I remember that the sad girl is me,

and I realize that she'll really never listen to anything I say.

Comments

Stacy said…
We are always our harshest critic. I hope you do see yourself as beautiful, because you are! I love that second picture of you - beautiful. :)
Anonymous said…
Wow Lara, what a moving post.

Does she listen to what her friends say? Because we say that she is beautiful and loved too =)
Head Gaggler said…
Those pictures are all beautiful. I know what you mean though, it hard to listen to yourself.
Anonymous said…
OH gosh! Why so hard on yourself? What trials in life have convinced you of these things? Does depression have you in its steely, cold grip?

You are intelligent, beautiful... God made you special... naming every hair on your head and forming you in your mother's womb. It is hard to remember these things... I know as I often have bouts of depression. But it is true whether we believe them or not. Not believing you are intelligent or beautiful does not make the fact not true... it simply you have yet to convince yourself of this truth. But truth remains while our feelings ebb and flow.

I do hope you have an IRL friend you listen to... go to her and let her encourage you. YOu deserve it.
Jaimee said…
We always see ourselves much more critically than other people do! I always try to think...do I notice this (whatever it may be) about other people? You are beautiful. Listen to yourself every once in a while!
kim said…
such stunning and raw self-portraits. Hope you're feeling beautiful today. :-)
Susie said…
Well life isn't always light-hearted and I guess we wouldn't have it any other way. Life is raw, and sad sometimes - and we blog about it all. And even the sad is beautiful. Here's to hoping you find the beauty in your sadness.
Unknown said…
Not at all what I expected. And I'm sure even hearing it from all of us isn't going to change your mind, but those self-portraits are BEAUTIFUL.
Step back and let yourself really admire them.
Maggie said…
This is FANTASTIC. I think one of my favorite posts of yours ever!
Joanna said…
I agree with Kim, what a stunning and raw self portrait. All of them. We can only hope to be the best we can be.
Rose said…
Lara,
Incredible, beautiful, brave, real and moving.
My favorite photo is the second to the last one, I love the perspective [and I always love black and whites].
Mojo said…
Yeah... what Tali said.
And stacy too.
and ... well, and everybody else here.
Anonymous said…
For you and all your readers...
She is you and she ALWAYS listens to what you say, so be careful to use your inner words wisely. Bad and good have equal effect. The big question is, which words are we all using more?
Duez said…
Quite poignant. I would bet that 90% of my female students would have the same feelings.

I wonder what they would say - if they could tell themselves?
Lara,
Wow, very deep post.
michelle said…
I love this series of shots of yourself. Very emotive and very real. Great!

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