Life: The Illustrated Education

I'm Giving Myself a B+

2010-02-03T21:17:00.000-08:00

Although we're approaching more of a B than a B+, and if I'm not careful, I may soon find myself at a B-.

I'm referring, of course, to my success with my Project 365 plan for this year. Definitely been missing some days here and there, but I'm trying, and I'm taking many more photos than I had been before I decided to take on this challenge. However, I don't like all the pictures I've been taking, which is unfortunate. Here are some of the ones I have liked:

Thoughts? Encouragement?

One Week, Going Well

2010-01-10T20:08:00.001-08:00

Here are some photos from my first full week of Project 365:

Okay, so maybe they're boring to you, but I'm enjoying getting in the habit of taking pictures every day. I remember to take my camera with me more places now, and I'm also learning to notice little things around me that I wouldn't notice if I weren't searching for something to take a photo of each day. I'm sure the pictures themselves will only get better over the year.

I'm Back, and I'm Insane

2010-01-03T23:15:00.000-08:00

Hello to whoever is still out there and reading this blog!

(Which really just means whoever still has this blog in the feed-reader and therefore received notification of a new post, or whoever has clicked over from a link I almost certainly put at some point on my regular blog.)

I will not say I've made a resolution, because I honestly haven't. But I've made a decision that I would really like to get back into my photography, because it used to make me happy and I need happy like Shamu needs stinky fish. To help me in this, I've decided to do the Project 365 challenge in 2010. Now, there are a couple things I need to own up to right up front:

1) I decided this on January 2, so I already missed a day. Boo hoo - I'm over it.

2) If I miss a day, I'm just going to keep going. Even getting 300 daily pictures would be awesome, so I'll do what I can.

3) I am not going to count my daily "What I'm Wearing to Work" picture as the picture for the day. It has to be something - anything - other than that. Something more intentional.

4) I make no guarantees that I will post all the pictures here. In fact, I make no guarantees that I will post any here after these two. I'd like to - I'm hoping to - but I'm promising nothing, because if I promise to post them and then I don't I'll feel guilty and beat myself up for letting everyone down. I don't need more reasons to feel guilty and beat myself up.

That said, here are the first two pictures:

(That's how much work I graded over break, plus two more small stacks I graded at home tonight...)

I hope this helps me get back in the habit of taking more pictures again. Wish me luck!

Go Ahead and Admit It

2008-09-08T20:56:00.000-07:00

You missed me, right?

Yeah, I missed you too.

Summer's a BLAST!

2008-08-03T11:17:00.001-07:00

Recipe for summer fun:

1 Sprinkler
1 Toddler

Mix them together and ta-da!

"Summer's a BLAST!"

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I've decided to enter this photo in the "Summer Fun" contest over at 5 Minutes for Mom. Crossing my fingers, because $500 would be awesome.

If you'd like to enter, contest details can be found here. Good luck!

Fashion Forward

2008-07-30T22:48:00.000-07:00

Theme Thursday: Fashion

(And yes, I've shown this photo before, but it was so perfect, I had to share again. She's cute enough to look at twice, no?)

For more fashionable photos, head over to Stacey's place!

Is It Just Me, Or Is This REALLY Weird?

2008-07-24T21:52:00.001-07:00

I think - I THINK - that car is offering me a Coke.

BSM: Reminder

2008-07-20T21:49:00.000-07:00

First of all, I would just like to let out a little squeal of joy that I got to meet Tracey this weekend! We didn't get to talk too much, but it was good to meet someone I've admired for a while now. And now, after meeting her, it's time for another one of her Best Shot Mondays. She asked us if we had any shots that explain what's been going on in our lives, and boy do I. I'm super stressed about work, because school will be starting awfully soon, and I still have so much to do. But while I was in Vegas with my mom, I saw this, and just had to snap it:

I think it's an important reminder for all of us.

For more Best Shots, head on over to the lovely Tracey!

More of My Mother

2008-07-16T21:45:00.001-07:00

A lot of you seemed excited to see more shots from the photo shoot with my mom that I referenced in this week's Best Shot Monday. If you'd like to see some hilarious "mess-up" pictures, click on over to my main blog and this post. I highly recommend it for some good chuckles.

Here, though, I present you a set of some of my favorite shots of my mom, with no particular theme other than that I like 'em.

And a few shots taken with my tripod and self-timer:

My mom is the bestest! :)

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In other news, I'm going to SF for BlogHer tomorrow! Any of you going to be there? Want to meet? Shoot me an email!

BSM: My Mother's Laughter

2008-07-14T12:38:00.000-07:00

Saturday was my mom's birthday, and I wanted to do a mini photo shoot to get some more recent pictures of her, as well as the two of us together. I'll be showing some of my favorites through the week, but for my Best Shot Monday, I just had to share this photo of my mother, laughing, happy, natural, and beautiful.

Love you, Mamala.

For more Best Shot Mondays, head over to Tracey's place. (Oh, and wish her a hearty welcome home from vacation!)

Petals Fall

2008-07-09T14:35:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite pictures for some reason, and explaining why is a bit beyond me. I talked once before about the beauty of dying flowers, but even then I wasn't able to describe what I find so inspiring. Perhaps it is just something inside of me searching for beauty in a life's end. If it always has to go, may it always go with such quiet dignity and grace as these petals.

I Wear My Patriotism on My Fingernails

2008-07-04T21:27:00.000-07:00

Hope you all had a great Fourth of July!

What I Want

2008-06-26T01:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I see her,

this sad girl in my photographs,

I want to reach out to her -

tell her she's beautiful,

tell her she's loved.

But then I remember that the sad girl is me,

and I realize that she'll really never listen to anything I say.

BSM - Portraits of Two Ladies

2008-06-23T15:01:00.001-07:00

This week, I am breaking the rules by posting two photos as my "best" shots. Over the weekend, I went to Las Vegas, where my mom and sister live, for a family visit. While there, I did a great photo shoot with Seeser and Jersey Stoops (Seeser's roommate). Much more on the photo shoot will be coming soon, but for now, my favorite picture of Stoops:

And my favorite picture of Seeser:

For more about Seeser and my awesome relationship with her, click over to my regular blog here.

For more great photos from this week from other photogs, click over to Tracey's blog here.

BSM: Another Trip Around the Sun

2008-06-16T00:06:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday, and this is me:

Twenty-six years old and no apologies. Who could ask for more?

For other people's best shots, head over to Mother May I.

Mom Visits Dad

2008-06-03T22:15:00.001-07:00

My parents divorced when I was in junior high. Bittersweet as it was, it was nice to see them together again.

Two for the Price of One!

2008-06-01T20:32:00.001-07:00

Last week I was too busy to post a photo for Best Shot Monday, so today, you get two pictures. The first is from a trip Batman and I took to Santa Cruz during the long weekend last week. I'd never been, but I had so much fun! It was great, walking around, enjoying the sunshine, riding roller coasters, and playing silly carnival games. And all of it was done with a glorious view of the ocean. This is one of my favorite shots from the day, of the classically colorful ferris wheel:

The other picture is from my recent trip to Southern California with my mom and sister. While there, we visited my dad's grave, and I captured this picture of us all holding hands:

That's my family, together for one brief moment.

For more great shots, head over to Tracey's place.

Taking a Tip from a Toddler

2008-05-21T00:15:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago I was babysitting for an adorable two-year-old who has entered the less-than-adorable tantrum stage. Seemed like every ten minutes or so there was something worth kicking and screaming about. At one point, he actually climbed under the table just to cry to himself.

That right there is exactly what I feel like doing these days.

Sunny Day, Sweeping the Clouds Away

2008-05-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

Before anything else, I just have to thank everyone who offered support and good wishes for me when I was in my "funk" earlier this week. I am definitely doing better these days, so thank you.

The theme for this Thursday over at Stacy's place is "Sunshine." I had a lot of ideas for pictures I could share on that topic, but eventually, I chose one that actually features sunshine quite subtly. When I first saw this photo, I thought it was a failed shot - I thought the lighting was all wrong and I'd shadowed my subject. But after a little bit - and I do mean a little bit - of post-processing, I came to love the effect. Turns out the sun can do some pretty incredible things when you least expect it.

Head over to The Land of K.A. for more sunny shots!

BSM: Feeling Wistful

2008-05-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

Today, I am wishing I still had a piano at hand, because I think music might help me break this funk I'm in.

For happier photos and thoughts, stop by Tracey's site.

Girls Just Wanna Have It

2008-05-08T17:49:00.000-07:00

Fun, that is. For the Theme Thursday this week, Stacy asked us to think about Fun and what that might look like. Given that my chosen profession for the last, oh, five-ish years (on and off) involves small children, I tend to see a lot of fun moments. When you're three years old, pretty much everything is fun, with the possible exception of vegetables. (Actually, even those you can stick up your nose, which, well, if that's not the definition of fun, I don't know what is.)

Enjoy these shots from a fun game of peek-a-boo with some of my favorite little kiddos, and visit Stacy for more fun photos!

BSM: Stop and Smell...

2008-05-05T19:52:00.000-07:00

I absolutely, positively adore roses. They are probably one of my favorite non-human subjects, and I always love looking through my pictures after shooting roses. When you get up close and get the focus just right, they look like they are made of cake frosting, sculpted of pure sugar. To me, they mean spring is fully here, and summer isn't far behind.

For more great photos, check out Tracey's place!

A Girl and Her Hat

2008-04-29T19:55:00.001-07:00

Down at the Watering Hole

2008-04-22T22:35:00.000-07:00

And of course, when I say "watering hole," I mean, big tall Duplo tree on the rug. Either way, the animals seem to be enjoying themselves.

BSM: Bring on the Sun

2008-04-21T00:53:00.000-07:00

Suffice to say that early in the week, I was feeling a little down in some ways. But after some excellent advice from a friend (read about it here if you're interested), I'm ready to pull aside the curtains and let the sunshine in.

How about you? More sunshine available at Tracey's.

BSM: Ah, Refreshing!

2008-04-13T23:09:00.000-07:00

For this week's Best Shot Monday, Tracey asked us: What little slice of heaven do you have to share this week?

Well, I'm presenting this picture as a little piece of that heaven pie for two reasons. The first is that you might be experiencing some un-springlike weather, like rain, or even snow. If that's the case, I think you'd love to be having some of the sunshine you'll see here.

The second reason is that you might - like me - be experiencing some unseasonably warm weather. And by "warm" I mean "hot like the surface of the sun." Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit, but it did suddenly get very hot the past few days.

So if either of these cases applies to you, then you'll probably agree that this?

Would be heaven.

For more slices of heaven, head on over to visit Tracey and the other participating photogs!

My Kind of Perfect

2008-04-10T00:09:00.000-07:00

The Theme Thursday for this week is "Perfection," and I have to say I struggled to come up with something to post. What, really, do I know of perfection? Particularly in my photography, since I'm still so clearly an amateur? But then I realized - what, really, do any of us know of perfection? So I thought about what perfect would be, for me, and I came up with this photo:

The shot is crooked. You can see the camera. You can also see the frame of the mirror. But you know what? This, to me, is perfect. This is as good as it gets, seeing three strong women who love each other through everything. My mom and my sister are infinitely special to me, and while this picture may not be perfect, there is perfection in its meaning to me.

Head over to Stacy's to see more variations on the theme!

A Question-Answer Segment

2008-04-06T23:25:00.000-07:00

Over on my personal blog, I asked readers to submit questions for me to answer. They asked me a lot of good stuff, and over the coming week or two I'll be answering them all. But one of them was really more appropriate to answer here on this blog, so here goes.

Little Spoon asked:

How are you able to take such perfect self-portraits? Is there some kind of trick or equipment I don't know about?

Now, there are two ways to think about this question (which technically is two questions). I could just take it as a compliment phrased as a question, like when I ask Mocha, "Why come you're so gorgeous?" LS's question implies that she likes my self-portraits, so I could just say, "Aw, shucks, thank you," and be done with it.

However, I'm going to go with my second response option and answer the question as if it were asked in sincerity. (Because a) I do think LS wants to know, and b) I think others might also want to know about my self-portraiture.) While my self-portraits are far from "perfect," I am proud of what I have been able to accomplish in this genre. When I come up with good self-portraits, it is usually due to six main factors:

1. Equipment
2. Lighting
3. Subject Prep
4. Framing
5. Un-Self-Consciousness, and
6. Volume

Equipment

Since you asked, LS, yes, there are certain pieces of equipment that make self-portraits easier (and produce a higher percentage of good shots). First and most obvious, the better quality camera you have, the better quality pictures you will get. Everyone says, "Well, duh!" so I'll move on.

Now, my self-portraits have always been taken one of two ways: by hand in a mirror, or with the self-timer on the camera. If you'd like to take the shots by hand, a mirror is always going to be better (and, in my opinion, easier) than extending your arm out as far as you can and aiming the camera back at yourself. With a mirror, you have way more options of angles for your shot, because you're not holding the camera in quite as awkward a position. I think some shots are nicely accessorized by having the camera visible, but if you don't want to see the camera, you may have a bit of trial and error finding the right way to hold and aim the camera to get the shot you want. Also, if you want to take mirror shots, it's best to actually invest in one or two large-ish wall mirrors that you can move around to different locations; otherwise, you end up with the same background in every picture.

If you decide to use the self-timer or a remote for your camera, you will need a) brilliant engineering skills, so that you can always construct a sturdy base of the appropriate height on which to place the camera; or b) a tripod. I recommend getting a tripod because they're really not very expensive and they really come in handy, especially for self-portraits. The important thing to remember when using a tripod and timer/remote is that when you're setting up the shot, something needs to placehold where you will be - if not, the background will be in focus and you will be blurry. Do a few tests to make sure the set-up and focus are good, then shoot away!

Lighting

I've covered all the equipment I use, so let's move on to lighting. I don't use a flash when I take self-portraits, for a couple different reasons. First and foremost, all my self-portraits were - for a long time - in the mirror; using the flash in a mirror is a good way to get a picture of the flash and not much else. So then I had to work hard to establish good lighting around me to avoid dark, blurry pictures. (Though trust me, I have a lot of dark and blurry pictures around.) Indoors I try to open windows and/or turn on lots of lights, depending on time of day and the look I'm going for; outdoors, it's all about the sunshine, of course. To avoid weird shadows or backlighting, always face towards the source of light, whatever it is. I generally prefer natural light to artificial, but I've had good results with both.

Oh, and the other reason I don't use a flash is because I'm pale and it washes me out. Sad, but true.

Subject Prep

By this, I basically mean how I prepare myself as the subject of my photos. What will I wear? How will I do my hair and/or makeup? If there is something specific I'm trying to achieve, I can do a lot of that through my own preparation.

(Wow, that one was quick.)

Framing

One of the first things my friend Balee told me when I asked him about improving as a photographer was about framing my shots. I'll try to paraphrase here (and if I mess up, he can correct me in the comments):

When setting up the shot, imagine the field as a tic-tac-toe board. Basically, many pictures are more interesting if the subject is NOT in the center square. I'm sure there's a legitimate explanation for why that is more visually stimulating for humans, but I don't know it. I do know it's true, though, for the most part. Most of my favorite self-portraits are framed to one side or the other: See here, here, and here for examples.

Un-Self-Consciousness

Honestly, this might well be the most important part of taking self-portraits, the factor to most directly bring success or failure. How many of you have ever thought of taking a self-portrait and had this thought (or one like it) run through your head:

I feel so silly/stupid. I can't believe I'm going to sit around and take pictures of myself.

If you feel that way about your self-portraits, you're pretty much doomed to fail. As a photographer, you quickly learn that you have to help your subjects feel comfortable in front of the camera, otherwise all the shots will come out feeling tense or awkward. When you are your own subject, that rule doesn't change, so you need to learn not to be self-conscious about taking those pictures. Keeping a few important things in mind will help with that: For one thing, remember that you have all the control in this situation. You can take a picture and immediately delete it if you feel it's awful - no one else ever has to see it. So feel free to experiment with your poses and facial expressions. Also remember that you are on your own time schedule, so don't rush yourself. Take the time to test things out before committing to anything, and feel free to shoot the same general pose multiple times to make sure you get it just right.

The less self-conscious you feel, the more you can branch out in your self-portraits. I've taken pictures of me crying (here), laughing (also here), and even pictures of myself nude (here). All of those photos took bravery, but I ended up being so glad that I took them.

Volume

Last, but not least, TAKE A LOT OF PICTURES. I'm sorry I shouted at you, but it's really that important. The more pictures you take, the more good ones you will have left over after you go through and delete the ones that are too dark, out-of-focus, or just generally unflattering (in whatever way is most important to you). If you only take five pictures, well, at best you'll have five good self-portraits, and at worst you'll have none. If you take 150, your chances of finding some nice ones are much higher.

Well, Little Spoon, there is my long-winded answer to your question. I hope if you read through this that at least one small part of it was helpful and educational for you! Now, go take some pictures already!

The Colors of Childhood

2008-04-02T19:32:00.000-07:00

There is something so powerful in the vivid hues of children's toys, hues that become muted as we grow up and learn to be more circumspect. Later on in life we come to appreciate pastels and neutrals, and we lose that love of primary colors. Maybe that's why I appreciate it so much when I see the brightness of the objects around me when I work with kids.

What are the colors you see and appreciate around you in your life?

BSM: Come Set a Spell

2008-03-31T00:17:00.000-07:00

I can't say there's anything about this picture that's particularly unusual or fabulous; I just like how comfortable the bench looks, flanked by these beautiful pink blossoms. Doesn't it just make you want to sit down and rest your tired bones for a bit?

For other best shots, head to Tracey's!

More Self-Portraits

2008-03-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

I wanted to create a collage of these for the Theme Thursday this week, but time has been hard to come by for some reason this week. I always feel behind on things, like I have too much to do and not enough time to do it. So instead, you just get a few basic shots from the mirror shoot:

I like the retro feel to them, with the red lips, false eyelashes, and long soft hair. It feels very 1940's Hollywood glamour to me, but maybe I'm crazy.

And here's one a friend edited for me just because he likes doing cool stuff like that:

Isn't it neat?

BSM: Surprises in Hiding

2008-03-24T00:08:00.000-07:00

In a stack of logs near where I work, I found this surprising image:

Tell me those don't look like little baby footprints burned into that hunk of wood. How did they get there? How did they end up in that little shape? And how lucky am I to have found them one day when I just happened to have my eyes open and my camera at hand?

For more Best Shots, go visit the lovely Tracey!

The Much-Asked-For Explanation

2008-03-21T00:15:00.001-07:00

I'm so glad you all liked the photo! I decided to let the photo stand alone in that post, but if there were sufficient interest, I would talk a bit more about the process it took to get the final product.

So, I actually hadn't initially been planning to take the picture when I did (Monday night). I was taking a shower and decided, "You know, I really should do that while I have the time." So I got out of the shower, threw on some sweats and a t-shirt, and started setting up the shot I wanted. After about twenty minutes of test shots, adjustments, etc., I came away with an initial shot I was pretty happy with:

As should be pretty clear - since both my arms are visible here - I was using my tripod and remote timer. I left the camera, tripod, and mirror all exactly in place and went to do my hair and make-up. I did full makeup, much heavier than I would ever wear for any normal activity, including false eyelashes, because it never shows up on camera as much as it does in real life, and I really wanted there to be a sharp contrast between the two "me" images. I also borrowed a wig from my beautiful roommate to contrast my hair. I changed my shirt to a contrasting color (white), and returned to my camera set-up. After a few attempts, I got a shot that seemed close enough to the original to work for post-editing:

Now comes the tricky part. Why so tricky? Because the shot doesn't evenly divide into two simple sides, so cutting and pasting was slightly more difficult than it might have been if I could have just cut down the middle. Basically, I free-selected a section of that second photo about like this:

... and pasted it onto the original photo. (Sadly, I didn't keep files at the various stages in between, so you'll have to use your imagination for a bit.) As you can imagine, there were a few places where the paste was startlingly obvious - at my wrist, for example, and at the line of the bed at the top. I used the smudge tool (in Gimp - I don't have Photoshop) to soften those lines a bit. In the end, I was able to come up with this product:

If you look closely, you can probably still see some of the weird lines where I pasted the two images together. It's easier to see in the color version because the lighting is a little bit different based on where I was sitting in each photo. However, I always planned to do the final version in black and white anyway, so once I made that last adjustment, we have the final product:

I would say overall, the whole process took 2-2.5 hours. Yes, upwards of two hours for one photo. However, while I had the camera out and had full makeup and hair done, I did get some other good self-portraits that I'll share soon.

Hope that clears up the mystery shot!

Self vs. Self

2008-03-19T23:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I promised you something great, and here it is. When I found out that the Theme Thursday for this week was "Self," I was stymied at first. I do self-portraits so often that it hardly seems something I could do in any sort of new or interesting way. (Of course, this is just a flat-out lie - there are always new and interesting ways to take pictures.) However, the theme was quite timely, as I'd been contemplating a shot in my head for a few weeks, and this seemed like a good time to capture it.

The idea of a self-portrait is to capture yourself, as both artist and subject. But it seems that to be able to do that, you'd have to know who that self is. What about the fact that we all have so many different selves - which one are we capturing? It's the same with a mirror, really: When you look in the mirror, who are you seeing reflected back? Is that person the same person you will see the next day, or the next? Is that the person you want to be?

These questions really have no answers, of course, and will be revisited every time I take a new self-portrait. (Or look in the mirror, I suppose.) But for today's theme, I wanted to do something a bit different. So, without further ado, here is my take, on the theme of "Self":

For more variations on the theme, go visit Stacy!

Another Lucky Shot

2008-03-18T19:55:00.000-07:00

The ringbearer at the wedding fell asleep:

So precious!

In other news, keep your eyes peeled, because something FABULOUS is coming Thursday. Seriously, I am beyond excited about my picture for Theme Thursday this week. Just you wait...

BSM: Radiant Bride

2008-03-17T01:50:00.000-07:00

Saturday I attended the wedding of one of my best and dearest friends. The ceremony was lovely, and the reception was fun. I had my camera with me, of course, but actually took way fewer shots than I expected. My favorite part, though, was during the spotlight dances - the mother-son waltz, father-daughter waltz, and bride-groom waltz - when I just shot without thinking too much. I opted to keep the flash off, because I wanted to embrace the blur and see what happened. I got a few shots that I liked a lot, but this one was one of my favorites:

This is a close crop of a larger shot I took during the bride and groom's first dance as a married couple. Someone in the background happened to also be taking a picture, and the flash just happened to go off as I snapped this shot. I'm glad it did, though, as it gave the bride a luminous backlit effect. It sort of matches the stars in her eyes, looking up at her (now) husband.

Here's the same shot in black and white:

Sometimes, as a photographer, I work hard to get the shot just right. But other times, I just get lucky.

For other folks' best shots, head on over to Tracey's!

How I'm Spending My Weekend

2008-03-14T20:50:00.000-07:00

My mom rocks, and we'll be having a blast.

What are you up to this weekend?

Love Thursday: Wipe Away the Sad

2008-03-13T01:04:00.000-07:00

This is my first ride on the Love Thursday bandwagon, but I guess I'm in a loving mood today. My much-adored mother is coming in to visit me for the weekend, and I can't wait to spend time with her. I have many pictures of her that - to me - show how much love she has to share, but this is one of my favorites.

Tears are a hard part of motherhood, but they're inevitable. My sister turned 29 this year, and yet there is our mother, wiping away her tears, just as she's done since we were children. See that look on Mom's face? That's love.

Where have you been seeing love today?

The Road Ahead

2008-03-11T23:14:00.000-07:00

BSM: Inner Light

2008-03-10T00:08:00.000-07:00

Another Monday, another Best Shot. I am really enjoying the first glimpses of spring that I'm getting all around me these days. I am blessed to have a job that allows me to spend time outside and/or around fresh cut flowers inside. Fresh flowers make me happy - they give hope somehow, in a way I can't fully explain. These tulips made me especially happy, because when I looked, they seemed lit from within - fiery hearts wrapped in fragility.

For more beautiful shots, head over to Tracey's place!

That's a Nice Way to Put It

2008-03-06T23:28:00.001-08:00

The theme for this week's Theme Thursday is "Spirited." It gave me a great opportunity to show off a picture I've had for a long time actually. As with many of my photos, this is unedited - I like the way the background blurs, and the way she's slightly out of focus as she stares into the camera. It so clearly shows exactly what was happening: she was running so fast that I could barely capture her on film.

It's funny how, depending on my mood on a given day, my opinions of small children can vary so greatly. BB, shown above, was adorable always, but on some days she was just too much to handle. On other days, she was spirited.

Really, it's all in how you look at it.

For more takes on this week's theme, head on over to Stacy's place!

Looking for Rainbows

2008-03-05T20:12:00.000-08:00

Rainbows are a magical part of childhood, as many people know already. I've known many children through the years to find great joy in looking for rainbows - not just in the sky, but on the ground or in the house too. I know a number of windows that, when the sun is in just the right spot, will cast a rainbow against the wall, shelf, cupboard, or bookcase behind them. All through the day, children will look: "Is it time for the rainbow yet?" And at just the right moment, there it is, bright and colorful where just moments ago there was shadow. If we hadn't been watching for it, we likely would have missed it.

A couple weeks ago, it was a drizzly gray day, the kind best spent inside wrapped in fuzzy blankets. As I was getting ready to drive home from work, I noticed the sun finally shining in a patch of bright blue sky... A patch of blue sky surrounded by clouds that were still pouring down rain. "There must be a rainbow somewhere, right?" I looked all around, but couldn't see one. Into my car, off towards home, still looking. But still, I saw nothing. Finally, as I was driving through the foothills, over to my left I saw it - a faint splash of color across the sky, barely visible, but there just the same. And I realized again that if I hadn't been looking for it, I might never have seen it.

I shudder to think of how many rainbows - both real and metaphorical - I've missed through the years. Maybe sometimes I was too busy to make time for it. Maybe sometimes I was too focused on the clouds to look behind them. Maybe sometimes I was hiding in bed. But I try to look more now.

My good friend Sandra has been getting a lot of bad news lately, from many of her own good friends. She is looking for rainbows of her own these days, and I'm more than willing to share with her.

What rainbows have you noticed lately?

BSM: Flawless

2008-03-03T00:11:00.000-08:00

Trying to decide on a "best shot" for Best Shot Monday is difficult sometimes. I'm so glad I joined in with BSM, because it keeps me shooting all week, just knowing that come Monday I will need something good to show. And I like looking for good compositions, interesting subjects, the right lighting - all that good photography stuff.

But when it comes down to it, the shots that are the best for me are the ones that I can load into the computer, look at, and love - no editing required. I'll admit that it's fun to tweak the colors and play around with interesting textures and tools in my software programs, but it's more fun to just look and know that I captured that image as is.

This picture is, to me, flawless, exactly as it stands.

And yes, I like roses a lot. So sue me.

For more great shots, head over to Tracey's place!

Self-Portraiture

2008-03-01T16:40:00.000-08:00

Until very recently, all of my self-portraits were taken by hand, in a mirror. I still like that style - it's become almost a trademark of mine, those photos with camera in hand. But in the photo featured on Monday, I used my tripod and the self-timer. I certainly liked the pics that came out of it, even if you can't see the camera. I mean, hey, you can still see that hat after all!

But of course, there's a downside to doing shots with the self-timer. When I shoot pictures directly, they're taken instantly, but with the self-timer I have ten seconds to get myself settled and wait, holding a pose, holding a face for the shot. And during that time, any number of things could happen: a lightbulb could blow out, something could startle me from my pose, or...

a cat could get all up in my face. Apparently, Tenny wants to be a star - or, at least, he wants his tail to be a star.

So yeah, self-portraits aren't as straightforward as one might think (especially with cats around). But when you're lucky, you get some nice shots to show for the effort.

Can I Be Your Memory?

2008-02-28T00:08:00.000-08:00

As my regular readers already know, my father passed away when I was sixteen years old. Looking back now, I have many regrets about wasted time with him. I have questions for him, like why did he call me Boomers from the time I was a baby? There are things to say, too - apologies to make and stories to share. I wish I hadn't taken him for granted as much as I did, always assuming there would be opportunities in the future to make up for what I was missing. Turns out I was wrong.

It shouldn't come as any surprise to you that my mother is all the more precious to me in light of my father's death. I worry about losing her, and I do everything I can to ensure that i won't have so many regrets when someday - hopefully MANY years from now - she is gone. I call her up just to say hello and tell her I love her. When I visit her, we snuggle together on the couch and watch movies. And, because I lament the fact that I have very few pictures of my dad, I photograph her.

These pictures warm my heart even now, but I know that on some far-off day, they might be all I have of her. Is that morbid? Some might think so, but to me, it's just realistic. These pictures are memories, and they will be precious to me forever.

Baby Steps

2008-02-26T00:53:00.001-08:00

How many times do we live out the tired old metaphor of life as a series of steps? And yet, the whole reason it became a tired metaphor is that it was true enough to be repeated over... and over... and over again. My good friend Tali recently posted about changes happening in her life's routine, and she asked the readers to reflect on changes in our own lives.

I feel like my life is just starting to settle into a comfortable sense of routine again, after a very long period of intense change. Some of the steps I took along the way were wobbly and dangerous; others were stable, but scary for their sheer transparency. I know that there are many more steps ahead of me, but for now, I find that I'm content to pause and enjoy this place, looking back over the steps that led me here, looking ahead to the steps still to come.

I'm happy that you're all looking with me.

BSM: An Exercise In Vanity

2008-02-25T01:48:00.000-08:00

Is it disgustingly self-centered to pick a photo of myself for my Best Shot Monday?

It's okay - you can tell me if it is.

I've been playing with the "smudge" effect lately. So far, I've been using it very conservatively, mostly as an alternative to soft focus. I think it gives better texture than soft focus, which I think helps to bring out the subject more strikingly.

What do you think?

Seeking Texture

2008-02-21T01:26:00.000-08:00

Along with Best Shot Monday, I'm also trying out Stacy's Theme Thursday. This week's theme is "Texture," and I thought for a long time about how to respond to it. All of my initial instincts were to learn some cool post-processing tricks for adding texture to my photos. And yes, there are plenty of options out there, but in the end, I decided to go au natural (well, as natural as a digital photo can be). Here are some pictures I've taken specifically because of their interesting textures:

No editing done after the fact - in my opinion, these textures all stand on their own.

More Experiments

2008-02-19T23:45:00.000-08:00

One of the roses, from Monday's post, in a separate vase:

Trying some focal black and white:

Thoughts?

Trying Something New

2008-02-18T00:26:00.000-08:00

And I mean that in a couple different ways. First, I'm trying something new by joining in with Tracey's "Best Shot Monday." Basically, as Monday begins a new week, we look back on what we've recently done with our photography and pick one shot that really stands out as something great, unique, meaningful, etc.

For this week, I've chosen this shot, "Message in a Bottle":

The concept of giving someone flowers for a special holiday - birthdays, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day - is, to me, just a new way of saying the same old thing. What are these roses but an "I love you" in a vase? Not that I'm complaining, mind you - saying "I love you" is always a great thing, whether it's in a vase, a Hallmark card, or a basket of truffles.

Mmmm... truffles...

I was also trying new things by messing with this picture in my photo-editing program. Here are three other versions of the same photo:

Black and white.

Sepia tones.

Film grain.

What do you think?

Under Construction

2008-02-16T12:49:00.000-08:00

Yes, things are wonky right now. Please excuse the mess while I try to fix things. Thank you for your patience.

UPDATE: Well, I've fixed most of the major wonkiness by doing pretty much everything Tpiggy told me to do. Thanks, Tpiggy, for helping me!

So what do you all think of the new look?

I Am Not Dead

2008-02-14T00:45:00.000-08:00

In fact, more than just not being dead, I'll go so far as to say I'm ALIVE! And I'm going to attempt to revive this blog. It won't really be anything new or different than what it was, but I, at least, liked the way it used to be, back when I posted more than once per holiday.

Speaking of which, it's Valentine's Day! And to celebrate, I have some recent photos that have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with love, hearts, chocolates, or Cupid. Woot!

-----------------------------------

"Size Doesn't Matter"

"Hold Your Breath"

"Still the Same - Please Forgive? XOXO, Lara."

I'm telling you - I will return soon. With more photos even. I know you can't wait...

Happy Christmas

2007-12-29T01:40:00.001-08:00

I know, I'm still not around much. But here are some pics from my holiday with family in Vegas. Hope your holidays were great too! :)

Moments to Give Thanks

2007-11-29T02:14:00.000-08:00

I know, I've been sorely ignoring this blog. I need to figure out what to do about that.

For now, enjoy some photos captured during Thanksgiving this year, spent in Vegas with my mom and sister.

[Yes, I favor the right side of my frames. So sue me.]

They Look So REAL!

2007-11-15T00:10:00.001-08:00

When I was in FAO Shwartz in New York, I was a little freaked out by how fashionably attired and posed some of the dolls were. What do you think - a step too far towards realism?

They even have that snobby, "I won't sleep with you unless you're a millionaire" look in their eyes. Like they're dead inside. Which I guess they are, since they're just dolls.

Celebratory Photos

2007-11-08T01:20:00.000-08:00

I took some new photos in celebration of one year of no cutting. I know that seems weird, to say I celebrated by taking self-portraits, but let me see if I can try to explain...

A lot of people don't get why I take so many self-portraits. Or, perhaps it's better to say, they come to their own (erroneous) conclusions about why I do it. Conclusions like, "She just thinks she's sooo pretty and wants to look at herself all day long." Um, no, not true. Or this one: "She always takes pictures of herself because it's the only way she can make sure she always looks good." Also not true, because I don't necessarily think it makes me "always" look good (however, the added control does ensure that I feel like I look better than I might otherwise, let's be honest).

The self-portraits, for me, allow me to explore how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking and try to emote that in a way that can be captured on film. Sometimes I actually surprise myself, because in looking at the pictures later I'll realize how I felt better than I did when I was taking the pics. I see myself differently when I see myself in the photos, and I don't just mean physically. I see parts of my personality that I don't usually recognize - strengths and weaknesses and everything in between. They're there, in the pictures, in ways I wouldn't realize without them.

Self-portraiture is, for me, a sort of self-discovery. That's why I take so many pictures of myself.

So on the occasion of this anniversary, I wanted to take some pictures in the hopes that I might capture how much I've healed. And, in my humble opinion, I do believe I did just that.

[Note: Yes, I have all of these in color as well, but I'm really fond of the black-and-white shots for this particular shoot.]

Fun in the Sun

2007-11-04T20:41:00.000-08:00

Little ones really get that whole "simple pleasures" thing. This is from the summer, but on a chilly day like today, I think it's a nice reminder of warmer months.

A Rainbow of Numbers

2007-11-02T23:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-30T17:58:00.000-07:00

Achitecture in the Style of Disney

2007-10-29T16:19:00.000-07:00

Went to Disneyland and California Adventure last weekend, and it was awesome. No, not my first time there - not by a long shot. I've been to Disney more times than I can count, but this was my first time with my camera in hand. Here are some architectural shots from the trip:

A fake "Golden Gate Bridge" above the entrance to California Adventure.

The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, staged in a 1930's Hollywood hotel.

An adorable looking side street in California Adventure. Makes me nostalgic for a time and place I never actually lived.

I love Disneyland's City Hall. It's so classically beautiful, even in the Halloween season.

More Disney pictures to come!

The New York We All Know and Love

2007-10-25T16:04:00.001-07:00

As promised, more expected NY pics:

Ah, Tiffany's, how I love your teal and white splendor.

Ooh, tall buildings. In the dark.

This is about how fast the whole city seems to be moving at all times.

I like that last picture in particular, because it really captures how I felt. I wish I had a picture of Times Square from when we were there on Saturday night, but I was honestly so overwhelmed by the crush of people that I had all I could handle just keeping myself pressed up against a wall not to be swept away by the crowd. Taking the camera out was way beyond my capabilities at the time. I guess that's what you get when you send a girl afraid of crowds to a huge city like New York.

A Different Kind of New York

2007-10-23T14:33:00.000-07:00

All right, I've been way too busy lately, but I'm hoping to get back to semi-regular posting here soon. Here I'll give you a few more shots from my NYC trip - shots that don't follow the stereotypical "big city" pattern.

The fountain across the street from the Plaza. I love the way the light catches the ripples.

From St. Patrick's Cathedral.

Also from St. Patrick's. Ah, Motherhood, how great thou art.

In FAO Shwartz. Come on - it's adorable, right?

The first three photos were all edited on the computer. Various color adjustments, cropping, soft focus, etc. But that last picture was left as-is, because I think it's perfect already.

I'll be back later this week with more "expected" city shots.

Sweet Sweets

2007-10-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

I'm going to take Major Bedhead's advice and (at least on some days), talk about what I was trying to capture in a given picture, to give those of you who are so inclined something on which to comment specifically.

This is from a display of candy at FAO Shwartz in New York. As soon as I saw it, I wanted to take pictures, because it just looked so perfect. I wanted to get rid of any and all background, and just focus on the colors and patterns of the various lollipops. The side angle (hopefully) stretches out the display so that it seems to go on forever - an all-you-can-eat buffet of sweets.

Even though I don't like candy, this picture just makes me feel happy. I guess there's something about this kind of scene that just captures the the awesome decadence of childhood, even if my childhood decadence wasn't exactly like it.

What do you think?

It's All a Matter of Perspective

2007-10-11T14:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm still thinking, but I didn't want to leave silent for too long. Besides, I heard from numerous people that my photos were missed.

To explain a little more about my discontent, the whole idea of this blog is still very new to me. It's not necessarily inviting a dialogue of any sorts, the way my other blog does. It's a showcase, but that starts to feel very one-sided after a while. Upon hearing that I had a blog, Aussie Boy (a guy I dated a while back) asked, "Doesn't it sometimes feel like you're just shouting into the void?" And I told him that it didn't, because people respond - it's less like shouting into the void and more like speaking into a crowd, where people occasionally speak back.

But this blog, because it's not designed for conversation, does feel a bit like shouting into a big silent space. There are comments occasionally, but let's admit it: For the most part, there's no real opening for discussion beyond, "It's a nice picture, I like it" or something to that effect.

So what to do? Should I just accept that I'm putting things out there to be seen and that because of that, it will feel more lonely? Or should I start making an effort to make things more interactive in the hopes of inviting more audience participation? I'm still not sure, and that's where I'm stuck right now.

In the mean time, I went to NYC this past weekend, and even though I thought it'd be no big deal - I mean, I've been there numerous times before - I was definitely a bit of a tourist. I'm a suburb girl 100%, so being in the midst of so many tall buildings was a little freaky. Check out below some of the photos I took in my awestruck state.

Thinking It Over

2007-10-03T22:42:00.001-07:00

I need to think about what I really want this blog to be, and how I can best use it to become a better photographer. I'm not sure it's serving a purpose right now, and that's not sitting well with me. If you have any thoughts, feel free to share them with me.

Torment

2007-10-02T17:58:00.001-07:00

Sisters at Play

2007-10-01T14:04:00.000-07:00

These two little girls are two of my students (which is their identities are being preserved). They speak Norwegian... and no English. It is beyond frustrating for them and me to have such a complete communication block. I can make them smile and laugh when we're playing, but trying to actually teach them is very difficult. I just take hope from their happiness in these passing moments.

Scraps of a Father

2007-09-28T13:59:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been sort of MIA this week. Just a bad case of blogstipation and general malaise. I'll probably skip the weekend as usual, but should hopefully be back daily on Monday.

This is not an artistic photo by any means, but it is an important one because of the subject. As many of you know, my father passed away when I was in high school (read my reflections in a two-part post here and here). What you probably don't know is that he owned a LOT of Hawaiian shirts - more than any teenage girl wants her father to own, let alone wear out in public. But he loved them, and had a number of different patterns lining his closet.

After he died, we spent many months going through his things, deciding what to give away, what to sell, what to keep, etc. Seeser, Mom, and I all agreed that Dad's shirts were special - because they were just so very him - but none of us really felt an urgent need to keep them for ourselves. So we gave them to D., a former student and football player of my dad's, who later became his colleague and fellow coach. D. admired my dad more than most, and looked up to him as a role model in many ways, so we wanted him to have something special to remember Dad.

He was touched, but felt uneasy about taking these special pieces from us. We assured him repeatedly that we were all keeping some of his things to remember him by, and that we wanted him to have the shirts. But it never really settled with him, because a few months ago he got in touch with me. "I have something to give you," he said. And so I arranged to meet him, thinking it would be some small memento of Dad that he had come across at the school. But instead, I saw what you see pictured above.

He had my dad's shirts made into a quilt and then framed to give back to us.

And I cried, of course. I cried because I was so touched by his kindness. I cried because I was sad for him, having lost his hero. But mostly, I cried because I could look at each and every piece of fabric and see my dad wearing it. I guess some things you just never forget, and this quilt now guarantees that I'll remember forever.

She Sees More Than You Think

2007-09-25T23:45:00.000-07:00

Old Timey

2007-09-24T13:57:00.000-07:00

Kissy-Kissy, Smoochy-Smoochy

2007-09-21T14:16:00.000-07:00

There is Beauty in the Dying

2007-09-20T14:43:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure why, but sometimes I find dying roses just unbelievably beautiful. I guess in some ways, they feel truer that way than they do when they're alive.

Buckethead

2007-09-19T15:52:00.000-07:00

Am trying to cheer myself up. If anyone can do it, Bubbers can.

Still Sad

2007-09-18T14:33:00.001-07:00

This Is How I Feel Today

2007-09-17T14:26:00.001-07:00

More details of how I'm feeling here.

Go Big or Go Home

2007-09-14T14:05:00.001-07:00

Damn but she's cute, huh?

Sad, But Standing Guard

2007-09-13T14:57:00.000-07:00

Sisters, First and Forever

2007-09-12T13:54:00.000-07:00

No Excuse

2007-09-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

I totally only took this picture because I thought he was hot.

So sue me.

Labyrinth

2007-09-10T14:02:00.000-07:00

When I look at this picture, I wonder if I could reach up and get lost in those branches, wrapped up in snow-white petals and kissed by the sunlight.

My Mother, My Hero

2007-09-08T21:06:00.001-07:00

Nothing to Hide

2007-09-07T14:30:00.001-07:00

Loving a person just the way they are,
It's no small thing;
It takes some time to see things through.
Sometimes things change,
Sometimes we're waiting -
We need grace either way.

Hold on to me,
And I'll hold on to you,
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through.

There's a lot of pain and
Reaching out and trying -
It's a vulnerable place to be.
Love and pride can occupy
The same spaces, baby,
But only one makes you free.

Hold on to me,
And I'll hold on to you,
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through.

If we go looking for offense,
We're gonna find it.
If we go looking for real love,
We're gonna find it.

Hold on to me,
And I'll hold on to you,
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through.

Loving a person just the way they are
That's no small thing -
That's the whole thing.
Loving me just the way I am
It's no small thing -
It takes some time
It takes some time
It takes some time
It takes some time...

- Sara Groves, "Loving a Person"

Teaching and Learning

2007-09-06T14:00:00.000-07:00

If any picture merits commentary, it would be this one. I knew, when I took this picture, what I was hoping to capture, but only in terms of positioning. I didn't realize what I would see when I looked at it later.

When asked, as part of my teaching program, to draw what I consider to be "the quintessence of teaching," this picture was what I immediately saw in my mind. It was, in every way, the perfect illustration of good teaching. Which, in this case, also turned out to be a case of good parenting.

I still count this picture as one of my all-time favorites, even though it was taken long before I started getting into photography, long before I had a good camera, long before I started this blog. Just a mom with her son, looking at the world, teaching and learning together.

(By the way, a longer explanation of that school activity and my drawing of this image can be found here.)

Tiny Fingers Reaching Out

2007-09-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, reader survey: Do you like the photos as stand-alones, with only the title? Or would you appreciate more commentary to accompany them? Or a mix of both? I'm wondering if the pictures, while exciting at first, might begin to bore people without some witty banter alongside them.

What do you think?

With This Ring...

2007-09-04T14:03:00.000-07:00

Summer Move Forward and Stitch Me the Fabric of Fall

2007-09-03T11:54:00.000-07:00

Drowning in a Tanbark Sea

2007-09-01T18:25:00.000-07:00

Feeling Flirtatious Before a Date

2007-08-31T14:41:00.000-07:00

Blowin' in the Wind

2007-08-30T14:40:00.000-07:00

A Hand to Hold

2007-08-29T14:22:00.000-07:00

After the Tears Comes the Laughter

2007-08-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

Step by Step

2007-08-27T14:02:00.001-07:00

Fun is Beautiful

2007-08-25T11:31:00.001-07:00

New Boy (for those who don't read my other blog, New Boy is the current romantic lead in my life) talked me into letting him have a guest spot today. He loves this picture, because he says it's what I really look like. I hate it, because I don't like my smile and I have very little makeup on and, well, I'm an insecure girl so I despise pictures where I don't have control over how I look. Because that's just who I am.

Sharing Secrets

2007-08-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

Reception Elegance

2007-08-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

Mama Mine

2007-08-22T13:52:00.001-07:00

You can read all about her here.

Oasis

2007-08-21T13:51:00.001-07:00

It's Just How She Is

2007-08-20T14:43:00.000-07:00

What's the Story, Morning Glory?

2007-08-18T17:15:00.000-07:00

Laying Tracks

2007-08-17T14:31:00.000-07:00